The Truth In Lying || Die Wahrheit Im Lügen

|| English & deutschsprachige Version

The truth in lying

I got counted out for one of my blog posts “Silently” by someone special. That person was right. I wrote “Regularly I need to know you’re alive and doing ok.“ and at the same time I claimed being silent. In other blog posts I wave about being in the moment, not wasting time, cherishing quality and pointing out advises like „just do it“. Both sides certainly doesn’t go together.

Sometimes truth can be painful.

It hurts being confronted with that and that is fine. It’s a positive criticism telling me I’m wrong and that I need to get in contact with myself again, investigate, reflecting… thank you. Yes, above all I wanna be pure and for real. I don’t wanna be a fake or plastic person. Instead I’m showing you now, that I’m vulnerable. I suck and I fail. My self expectations doesn’t always fit with who I am. I make mistakes, over and over. I’m human. I try to learn. I adapt and wanna live.

I got asked if it is pride or fear that is keeping me away from doing something. Why did I not pick up the phone and simply ask how my love is doing?

That conversation went on. My love pointed out that I don’t need all this hustle. There’s only one important thing – being true to myself, no lies!

Think about the small little lies that might surround us in every day life. It doesn’t necessarily need to be for an own benefit. Sometimes we use lies to protect someone’s feelings.

Being for real I gotta admit that I’m surrounded by lies. Sometimes because I wanna close my eyes and shut out reality. Sometimes it might feel like it’s not the right time to give straight and honest truth. Sometimes things that should be said are swallowed down like a big uncomfortable jucky meal. And there is this silence that definitely does something to you: it takes you away from your true inner self. You are slowly loosing touch with yourself and with your needs, wishes and all that. It doesn’t matter if it is a small or a big lie, good or bad. Even the reason behind it doesn’t mean anything. A lie is a lie and not the truth.

Lies are the foundation of miscommunication, hurt feelings and various conflicts. I don’t want it in my life no more. I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. There is no space for lies in my life.

Die Wahrheit im Lügen

Ich wurde ausgezählt für einen meiner Blog-Beiträge Schweigend von jemand Besonderem. Diese Person hatte Recht. Ich schrieb: “Regelmäßig muss ich wissen, dass du am Leben bist und ok bist.” und gleichzeitig behauptete ich, zu schweigen. In anderen Blog-Beiträgen hob ich hervor im Moment sein zu wollen, keine Zeit zu verschwenden, Qualität zu schätzen und ich wies auf Ratschläge hin wie “Just do it”. Es stimmt, beide Seiten passen nicht zusammen.

Manchmal schmerzt die Wahrheit.

Es tut weh, damit konfrontiert zu werden, und das ist in Ordnung. Es ist eine positive Kritik, die mir sagt, dass ich mich irre, und dass ich wieder mit mir selbst in Kontakt treten muss, untersuchen, reflektieren… Vielen Dank. Ja, vor allem will ich rein und echt sein. Ich will keine falsche oder künstliche Person sein. Stattdessen zeige ich an dieser Stelle, dass ich verletzlich bin. Ich hab verkackt, ich scheitere. Meine Selbsterwartungen passen nicht immer zu dem, was ich bin. Ich mache immer wieder Fehler. Ich bin ein Mensch. Ich versuche zu lernen. Ich passe mich an und will leben.

Ich wurde gefragt, ob es Stolz oder Angst ist, was mich davon abhält, etwas zu tun. Warum habe ich nicht das Telefon genommen und einfach gefragt, wie es meiner Liebe geht?

Dieses Gespräch ging weiter. Meine Liebe hat darauf hingewiesen, dass ich diese ganze Hektik nicht brauche. Es gibt nur eine wichtige Sache – mir selbst treu zu sein, keine Lügen!

Denken wir an all die kleinen Lügen, die uns wohl möglich im Alltag umgeben. Es muss nicht unbedingt zum eigenen Nutzen sein. Manchmal verwenden wir Lügen, um die Gefühle von jemandem zu schützen.

Wenn ich echt sein möchte muss ich zugeben, dass ich von Lügen umgeben bin. Manchmal, will ich die Augen schließen und die Realität ausschließen. Manchmal gibt es vielleicht das Gefühl, dass es nicht der richtige Zeitpunkt ist, um gerade und ehrliche Wahrheit zu zeigen. Manchmal werden Dinge, die gesagt werden sollten, wie eine große unbequeme ekelige Mahlzeit verschluckt. Und es gibt diese Stille, die dir definitiv etwas antut: Es nimmt dich von deinem wahren inneren Selbst weg. Du verlierst langsam den Kontakt zu dir selbst und von deinen Bedürfnissen, Wünschen und all dem. Es spielt keine Rolle, ob es eine kleine oder eine große Lüge ist, gut oder schlecht. Auch der Grund dafür bedeutet nichts. Eine Lüge ist eine Lüge und nicht die Wahrheit.

Lügen sind die Grundlage für Fehlkommunikation, verletzte Gefühle und verschiedene Konflikte. Ich will es in meinem Leben nicht mehr. Ich will mich nicht mehr belügen. Es gibt keinen Platz für Lügen in meinem Leben.

12 Comments

  1. ICU

    When I read your posts, I feel a sorta kindred spirit in you. “Ahhh…” I say to my self…”what she writes I feel/think that way, too.”

    The reason we lie, is it a for real reason? Sometimes I fear the consequence of truth telling. Do you, too?

    What is Whistle blower? He is a truth teller. Perhaps she tells the truth (whistle blows about mass fraud of a company he works for. For the privilege of the courage and faith this will require AND DESPITE PROTECTIVE WORDS ON PAPPER CALLED LAWS, he will be slandered, HUMILIATED and go through a long long legal battle. Her mental health might fail, his stress might trigger a terrible health condition, she will loose her income…he might be paralyzed (emotionally…or she might have a stroke…same thing). Years of life may be lost.

    Is this Pride or FEAR? Is it fantasy or real…at some time and in some place in the world; past present or future? What’s the precedence?

    I dunno (cough).

    Are any an EXCUSE or a reason? Who’s casting the powerful spell to turn pride into fear (or the other way around) and a valid reason into an excuse (which may only be countered by…)

    …faith and courage.

    Oh…how I pray for these!

    I will not make excuses for you. It’s dangerous magic, and it requires a terrible price, for it is a dark magic…an evil spell.

    I forgive you. Will you me?

    I have faith in you to do the right thing…for your own reasons.

    Have faith. Have courage. Be brave…as all truth sayers must be, for The Light of Truth will create a shadow if there is anyone else but you in the room. Them’s the rules.

    That’s what a shadow is. Can you bear it! Isn’t it painful to bear?

    Enter compassion…to bear suffering.

    Maybe I could go on and on. But maybe this picture is good enough to see something in yourself that I see in myself…and any accuser of pride might just deny (truth be told).

    You seem fine…ok…normal in every moment. Some moments you will have more courage than others. And some moments you will have more pride, fear, compassion…lust, greed, love and tenderness…and sometimes less of these. And then there are countless possible actions to take within in any virtue or vice.

    And vice turned to virtue (a white magic for sure) which requires a toad, a poison toadstool (all very real things to acquire)…a wand, a will…a gift of grace…and the right words.

    The Truth of it.

    Ah…the linear life (sigh). So much to feel, and so many ways to be…moment after moment. It’s all very magical.

    You seem like a really good person to me. Thanks for sharing your
    moments. They seem full of power.

    Amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sovely Matters

      Out of nowhere this message appeared and I feel blessed in very way. It’s one of the feedback that a blogger is hoping for. You don’t necessarily need to agree with everything, you don’t need to love it all. It’s great to learn my words are read and reaching someone. If it makes you think, if you are starting have what ever kind of feelings – that is the greatest gift for a blogger.
      Thanks so much for reaching out and writing such a detailed feedback. I very much appreciate it.
      All the best to you. Yours, Sovely

      Like

  2. Princess Anyasodor

    I do. It know exactly how to put what I am currently feeling after reading this. This Post hits hard when it’s real. Wow I am glad I came across this post. Lies is what we get confronted with everyday and the truth in it all is what you tell yourself. My friend told me yesterday. Hey you can call me too you know and I was like damn!!! I tell others to do same but do not do it. I need to do better for myself not for others. Thank you. Please Can I repost it?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. magicpoet01

    I think you were enormously brave to expose your truth and be prepared to be so publicly vulnerable.
    For what it’s worth I think we have to be most honest with our selves first and try to slowly but surely in our daily lives and experiences try to be fearless in our communication and relationships with those we hold dear.
    Be brave and dare to tell the truth. Sometimes it will have grave consequences – just look at Julian Assange and countless other whistleblowers – currently unprotected by the (in Australia anyway!).
    Accept the consequences of your actions, behavior and truth telling. It is how we mature and take responsibility for ourselves.
    Listen to others with empathy. Listen with love & compassion. Listen to complaints but always critically analyse for yourself if their criticism of you has validity.
    Always remember no-one can do anything without someone finding it “wrong” or “unacceptable”. You cannot go out in the world trying to “please” others. You can only, ultimately, be true to yourself.
    However, be flexible, adaptable and prepared to change as you learn more, as you grow and become more yourself.
    Rather than faith in an afterlife, I suggest you live in the full knowledge you are mortal and any day could be your last.
    I think it is a good idea to resist saying cruel, aggressive, insulting things – anything aimed at diminishing another person just for the sake of it. You’ll feel bad and they will too.
    But you can assertively resist. You can argue your case as logically and rationally as you can. THINK rather than believe. FIND OUT for yourself
    Everyone has opinions but there are actual, real facts which are found in knowledge.

    I find Marcus Aurelius an interesting philosopher – this a great site to explore him
    https://highexistence.com/22-stoic-truth-bombs-marcus-aurelius-will-make-unfuckwithable/

    I also like some of the existentialists.
    I also like a site https://www.brainpickings.org/ run by a New York woman who sends out regular posts from a wide range of books & ideas she explores. She provides actual texts in small chunks for your consideration.

    I think you are on your path to discovery & I can only wish you Bon Voyage MLE

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sovely Matters

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

      I was very touched you put that much into your feedback. I appreciate it.

      I especially like your contribution- listening to others with empathy and with love and compassion!

      You’re adding many rich additional aspects. A true treasure. Once again, it’s great hearing from you. Thanks a lot!

      All the best to you. Yours, Sovely

      Liked by 1 person

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